Heart on Fire
by hoshiakari7
Summary: I watch her walk away, the jewels on the hem of her dress blazing away… and in that instant I feel the very same fire in my heart.
1. Chapter 1: Sparkle

Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic. It's just a short conversation that I imagined between Katniss and Peeta just before their interviews with Caesar. I got inspired by that part in the movie since Katniss is so nervous and Peeta looks so pensive. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

x-x-x

**Sparkle**

Peeta

"You look so handsome, Peeta!" Portia said in her soft voice, fixing the lapel of my coat. "You'll be amazing, I know it!"

I mumble a 'thank you' and manage to give her a small smile. After making sure every button and hair was in its correct place, she presses a fluttery kiss on my cheek and vanishes.

I sigh heavily and try my best not fidget too much. Don't want to give away that I'm dead nervous. Sure, I look handsome as Portia said, but looking good won't be enough. Not this time, especially if I want to protect Katniss. Speaking of which… she wasn't here yet. I assumed Cinna would be the one to escort her down. I briefly wondered how they would dress The Girl on Fire. If the red and orange flames on the sleeves of my coat were any indication, she would probably be wearing flames of some sort.

I hear her footsteps before I see her or Cinna. Except this time they come accompanied by a steady _click click_ that indicates that she's wearing heels. A chuckle escapes my lips, picturing her annoyed expression at having to wear something so foreign to her. I look up as she and Cinna make their way around the corner, to where they'll line us up for our interviews with Caesar and my breathing comes to a halt.

Her dress caught my attention first. It was a long, red and slightly shiny one with jewels at the hem; any slight movement made it seem like there were flames flickering at her feet. My eyes slowly moved up and noticed there was some sort of red tulle flower pinned to the breast of her dress. Feeling my face get hot for a moment I looked away, not wanting to get caught staring. It was then when I noticed some red jewels on her bare left shoulder. The skin at her shoulders looked so soft and I mused if it would feel as silky as it looked. My eyes traveled up her graceful neck and landed on her beautiful face. Sure, she was wearing some makeup but that didn't mask her beauty. If anything, it enhanced her lovely gray eyes and her full lips. I swallowed, feeling my heart pound a bit harder against my chest as I realized her footsteps stopped and that those very eyes were looking into my blue ones.

There was a flash of an unknown emotion in her eyes as she looked me up and down, finally settling on my face. Her lips parted as if to speak but a scowl took over her pretty face and I remembered: I betrayed her. A capitol offense, practically… to her, anyway. Well, not really. I just asked Haymitch to train us separately so I can get my plan rolling. I sighed again, turning away from her yet still watching her from the corner of my eye. Cinna whispered something to her and gently brought his fingers to her cheek in a light caress, sending a jolt of jealousy through me. He murmured something in her ear and then pressed a kiss on her forehead, turned on his heel and left.

She stood still for a moment but then made her way slowly toward me, as if being next to me would cause her impending doom. Looking at the floor, I watched her hem swirl and burn, willing for the strange envy that crept up to go away. It was dumb, really. But I know better than anyone what it really is: I wish I could touch and kiss Katniss like that.

"Hey," she called to me, her voice throaty and uncertain.

I looked up, past the jewels and shiny material of her dress and into her eyes, hardly daring to believe that she was actually talking to me.

"Hi."

I swallow nervously, never looking away from her eyes, afraid that breaking eye contact would shatter our trance.

_Speak. Tell her something. Anything! Compliment her. Speak now, Mellark!_

"I, uh… you look… amazing, Katniss. Very beautiful. You'll surely blow the other female tributes out of the water," I tell her, hoping I sound soothing.

She blinks rapidly, her long eyelashes fluttering (like the butterflies in my stomach) and to my eternal surprise, her cheeks burn pink. She swallows thickly and looks down at my chest for a moment, almost as if shy.

"Thank you, Peeta. You look… good as well," she says, breathing out softly and bringing her eyes up to meet mine once more but not before biting down on her luscious lower lip.

I sigh inwardly, wanting nothing more than to press a soft kiss on that lip. Instead, I smile kindly at Katniss, feeling my heart burst at the thought that she thinks I look good.

"Thanks. Turns out I clean up well. Didn't know I had potential underneath all that flour and icing," I chuckle as I look down at my shiny black shoes.

Katniss laughs softly and I feel her eyes burn into my face.

x-x-x

Katniss

_Look at me, Peeta._

I command him silently to look at me but he inspects his shoes instead. Telling him he looks good is the understatement of the year. He looks handsome. Beautiful. God-like. But still in his Peeta way. Because underneath the hair goop and careful styling it's still him. The boy with the bread. The boy who saved my life and by extension, my beloved little sister's life.

It surprised me when he complimented me, telling me I looked beautiful. But nothing surprised me more than the traitor blush that crept up on my cheeks.

I notice his laces are double laced and I smile. His black suit is crisp and fits him like a glove. The flames that decorate the sleeves of his coat are like the flames on the hem of my dress but to a less sparkly degree. I notice his nails are clean and polished and oddly enough, it looks good on him. His hands are strong and big.

_Warm too_, I think, suddenly remembering when we shook hands after our reaping.

I look up close at his face and see the ever so subtle magic of makeup. The dark shadows under his eyes are gone. His impossibly blue eyes look bigger, more innocent. To my chagrin, I notice that his lips are soft and pink. I bite my lip again and focus on his hair instead. It's carefully styled, those golden tresses swooped to the side of his head.

I feel a little constriction in my chest and I raise my eyebrow at him, wondering when he's going to look at me. He doesn't look at me how everyone does. People usually look at me with pity or like I'm some kind of strange bird. But not Peeta. His eyes are full of kindness and warmth.

His azure eyes finally look up into my Seam ones and now his cheeks turn pink. I bite my cheeks to stop from smiling and that's when it hits me: I'm going to have to kill this boy.

Cold dread fills my body as I continue to look into those eyes, framed by hundreds of golden lashes. My eyes suddenly sting and I force myself to stop the tears that are threatening to spill. I'm not sure why or how but I feel compassion toward this boy.

_He saved your life, Katniss. You're going to repay him how? By killing him?_

But that is life. It's a kill or be killed world.

_No, no… maybe I'll be lucky and someone else will kill him._

I push those thoughts away from my head and force myself to snap back into conversation with him.

"So… if I may ask. What's your strategy? For the interview, I mean?" I whisper, stepping closer to him so we won't be heard.

His eyes widen for a fraction of a moment and his face turns red but he clears his throat and looks at the jewels on my shoulder.

"Haymitch said I should be self-deprecating, funny. He says I have the natural ability and that I'm likable _enough_," he chuckles, shaking his head slightly at the memory of having that conversation with Haymitch.

The corners of my lips twist up and I nod, it indeed does sound like something he would say.

"What about you?"

That question wipes what little humor I had in me.

"Haymitch and I tried different tactics… sexy, humble, among with others. But he said that it wasn't me. He told me I had the charm of a _dead slug_," I frown, looking away and feeling oddly embarrassed.

Peeta stayed too quiet so I dared to peek up at him and he was looking at me with the most curious expression ever. His blazing eyes were focused on me, as if not being able to believe his ears.

"What?" I ask, feeling strangely hot and fidgety under the intensity of his gaze.

He shakes his head and frowns slightly.

"Nothing… just thought he would understand, is all."

I stare at him blankly.

He laughs softly and ever so slightly reaches out to brush his finger on a tendril of hair near my cheekbone.

"The appeal you have. Though I'm kind of glad because then it would be kind of creepy," he chuckles.

I continue to stare at him dumbly but then I feel the warmth of his hand near my face and will myself not to get red faced. I'm about to reply when the other tributes start arriving and so he drops his hand and smiles kindly at me once more, leaving my stomach in knots and that strange constriction once more in my chest.

x-x-x

Peeta

"I'm sorry, Katniss," I whisper, wanting to reach out and take her hand but I don't.

She frowns and it feels as if all the happiness is sucked out of the room.

"Why are you sorry, Peeta?" she whispers back and she's now so close I can feel the warmth of her breath fan over my face.

"The training separately bit. I just… I had to do it," I explain anxiously, wanting to reveal everything to her.

She blinks once and her expression hardens.

"Of course," she says, stepping away from me. "It was all just for show anyway, right? Why bother pretending to be friends when we'll have to kill each other in the arena!"

I reach out to try to pull her back to me but she keeps distancing herself.

"No, Katniss… that's not…"

"It's better this way, Peeta. One less person I feel sorry for when they die," she whispers coldly, though another emotion betrays her eyes and she turns around as they call us to attention.

I sigh and close my eyes, cursing myself.

_Way to go, Mellark. Now you've done it. She won't even be sorry for you when you die. _

I choke down a sob and take a deep breath and Glimmer takes the stage.

_It's better this way, really. With me dead, she has one more chance of going back home. And she will. She's strong. If she can aim at those squirrels straight in the eye, then these humans have no chance…_

I straighten up and make myself listen to Caesar and the interviews. There could be something useful information that could be used against them later on in the arena.

Katniss, for the most part, remains still. Until they reach District 11 is when she starts to fidget. She turns her face almost as if to look at me but she stops; I watch her and focus on the sparkly red jewels on her shoulder and back. I want to touch them so badly, to brush my fingers on her warm skin. There is a layer of that red tulle at the back of her dress which makes the top part see-through and I try control my thoughts.

_She's probably not even wearing many undergarments… no, stop it! Don't defile Katniss like that. She deserves so much better than that._

As Thresh's interview comes to a close, I can see Katniss' shoulders shaking. She suddenly looks so frail and small that I want nothing more than to protect her. To sweep her into my arms and let nothing bad happen to her.

However, as Caesar calls her name, she straightens up and squares her shoulders. This brings a smile to my face. There she is, the brave Katniss I love. No matter how scared or frightened she is, she'll pull through because she's a fighter and a survivor. As she walks away, I reach out my hand hastily to brush the tips of my fingers against the gems on her back and the tulle material. For the briefest, sweetest moment I touch her soft skin and I feel a strange sort of happiness sweep over me.

I watch her walk away, the jewels on the hem of her dress blazing away… and in that instant I feel the very same fire in my heart.

For her, I must do it all. So she can get a chance to live. Only for her will I declare my love for her when my time comes. So that she can know that no matter what I'll do, it will have been for her.

x-x-x

Thanks for reading! :)


	2. Chapter 2: Pinned

Hello everyone! Thank you the review I got. I honestly wasn't expecting anything but it was very nice. I have decided to continue the story... but I won't do it to the end of the first book. Instead, they will be one shots/moments between Katniss and Peeta that I thought deserve a bit more detail. I hope you enjoy!

As always, I own nothing! :)

x-x-x

**Pinned**

Peeta

I cross my arms and watch Katniss' interview. She strikes the perfect balance between vulnerable and charming, drawing the crowd to her.

_Why would Haymitch tell her she has the appeal of a dead slug? If I really think about it, they're both actually very similar; which is probably the reason they can't stand each other._

When she stands up to show that she really merits her 'Girl on Fire' nickname, the crowd absolutely goes nuts. My first instinct, however, is to go out there and put out the flames that threaten to consume her, never mind the fact that she is on live television throughout Panem. But then sanity kicks in and I realize it's only Cinna's doing to make Katniss stand out, very much like our parade outfits. I smile as she twirls, wishing for a moment that this giggling girl were easier to get closer to. I sigh and chide myself. Of course not, this girl isn't remotely Katniss-like at all.

She sits down once more and Caesar asks her about Prim. Here the real Katniss comes out, not the giggly, sparkly façade of a girl that she's been pretending to be. Solemnly, she answers his questions and I feel relief when she says that she promised Prim she would try to win. Of course she would, especially if I had something to do about it. At this, the audience's hearts are touched and Caesar escorts her off the stage. Before I know it, my name is being called and I walk to the stage, hoping fervently not to trip or stumble.

As the spotlight hits me, I smile genially and wave at everybody in the crowd. I shake hands with Caesar and so our friendly banter starts. Before long, I have the audience eating out of the palm of my hand. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm faking being who I am, I'm just magnifying it.

Finally, the portion of my interview where everything changes arrives. I feel my palms tingling and slightly damp from sudden anxiety. Then again, might not be so sudden. It's not every day that you confess your decade-old love to a girl on live television. I force myself to pay attention to Caesar once more; I can't afford a slip up.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" Caesar cajoles.

I sigh exaggeratedly and look down timidly at my shoes before looking up at Caesar and say, "Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until the reaping."

Partly true. A _crush _is not a good enough word to describe my feelings for Katniss. But I need to keep it light. I don't want to scare her off either. Sadly, I do know she never noticed me or even knew who I was. Though there were times that I would catch her looking at me in school… thinking wishfully that it was because she likes me. A part of my brain intercedes and reminds me how she told Haymitch I was strong from carrying heavy bags of flour and about my wrestling.

_If she didn't know me, why would she notice those things?_ I question myself. _Shut up, brain._ _You're just trying to confuse me…_

But it was probably due to the fact that she was curious about me, the stranger who'd stare at her and then look away, never having the courage to talk to her throughout the years.

"She have another fellow?" Caesar asks, his voice compassionate.

A bubble of envy bursts in my stomach and I try my best not to scowl. I wasn't sure if Katniss had a boyfriend but it was well-known that she and Gale Hawthorne spent their free time together. People loved to speculate and gossip but I'd like to believe I knew better. They were hunting partners, risking their lives by hunting outside the "electrified" fence so they could feed their families. In a way, it was rather admirable and sad. Admirable because they had to look out for their families at such a young age. Sad because Hawthorne also lost his father in the tragic mine explosion where Katniss lost hers. But still… if the girls at school loved to talk about the "dreamy" Gale Hawthorne, who is "_so _ruggedly handsome and _so_ strong", I could only imagine what Katniss thought. Then again, Katniss isn't that type of girl. Even so, they spent an awful lot of time together doing goodness-knows what in their alleged hunting trips…

"I don't know, but a lot of boys like her," I answer him honestly.

Complete truth. A lot of boys are attracted to Katniss but since she keeps to herself they don't have many chances of talking to her, very much like yours truly. She's strong, beautiful and smart. What boy _wouldn't_ like her? Not that it has anything to do with it, but it helps that Madge Undersee, the mayor's daughter sits with her, a Seam girl, at lunch. Madge is from a Merchant family, like me. Blonde hair and blue eyes, also like me. Quite a few boys also like her, but like Katniss, she keeps to herself. I suppose they have more in common than what people would think.

"So, here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" he encourages, not really knowing just how much of a lost situation this is.

"I don't think it's going to work out. Winning… won't help my case," I tell him, desperation seeping into my voice.

"Why ever not?" he questions, the faintest and tiniest wrinkle forming between his brow.

_Come on, Mellark. This is what you were waiting for, building up. You have to do everything in your power to get Katniss out alive. If this means embarrassing yourself in national television, then so be it. Because let's face it, you're not going back home to District 12 pal._

"Because… because… she came here with me," I confess, my face turning beet red and determinedly looking away from the cameras.

x-x-x

Katniss

I stare at the television screen, watching Peeta squirm in his seat as the words sink in with the crowd, who slowly start to gasp and cry, screaming about unfair love.

_What just happened? Did he say what I thought he did? How can he possibly like me? He's never even spoken to me before! Could this be a plan between him and Haymitch? To get him sponsors?_

My mind continues to convulse with incoherent thoughts taking place of the thought before it, my hands slowly clenching into tight fists.

_Just you wait, Peeta Mellark… just you wait._

I am being escorted back to our apartment in the twelfth floor, seething as Effie warbles about how romantic that was and how handsome Peeta looked and how perfect things would be if I loved him too. That snaps me out of my quiet rage.

"What? _Love_? Effie… he said he had a crush on me! How can you go from a crush to love? Besides, how can it be perfect when we're going to be sent out to an arena to kill each other?" I ask her in disbelief, sarcasm tingeing my raised voice.

Effie turns to me with a sympathetic expression on her painted face and pats my cheek delicately, clucking her tongue in a motherly manner.

"Oh, Katniss! Did you not see his torn expression? I wouldn't be surprised if he said crush to cover up!" she trilled.

I mutter a few choice words under my breath, not wanting to offend Effie as we step into the foyer of our apartment. Effie bumps her cheek against mine in an air kiss (as it was all the rage here in the Capitol) and speeds off, murmuring about unrequited love and romance. Honestly, I'm not paying much attention to her so once again, I am left alone with my thoughts and the anger at Peeta's confession overwhelms me. So I hide in the shadows, waiting for the moment where Peeta steps off the elevator so I can… what? Slap him silly? Demand why he made me look like a fool? I don't have time to conjure up more punishments for him since the boy himself appears, alone. For a moment I am struck by his good looks and even with his face creased with worry, he still looks like an angel.

_Damn you, Katniss! Focus! This is no time to be sidetracked by a boy!_

So I charge out of my dark corner and make a beeline for Peeta, giving him a second's notice of my presence no thanks to my stupid shoes. He turns around and opens his mouth to greet me but is silenced by my furious expression. I pin him back into the wall, pressing the length of my arm against his throat and my other hand gripping my wrist, holding my arm snuggly in place. Peeta's bright blue eyes widen with alarm as I slowly press my arm into his throat, his hands trying to pry me off of him gently and not forcefully as any other sane person would try.

And again, I am stupidly distracted by the golden eyelashes fanning out from his eyes, catching the light and glinting, taunting me. I can hear his breathing spike up and along with it, his heart beat drum faster in his chest. For a wild moment I want to trace his pale eyebrows with my thumb and then caress his eyelashes, to see if they are as soft as they look. I look into his clear eyes again, noticing his pupils dilated… with fear?

_Or attraction? Leave it to him to find me beautiful in a moment like this…_

He opens his mouth to object, his lips not the pink I noticed earlier but a rather morbid blue now. So I snarl at him to be quiet and press my arm even more into his neck. For an even wilder moment, I want to press my lips against his, wanting to give them their lively and rosy hue again.

Instead, I drop my arms and step away, glaring at the boy with the bread. His expression reads of relief as he gently massages his neck and studies me with his fair brows furrowed, his once gelled hair now mussed up, courtesy of me. Even after I attack him, he still gives off an innocent air about him, which, despite what my better instincts mandate, makes me want to protect him.

x-x-x

Peeta

Effie, Haymitch, Portia and Cinna storm in and take in Katniss' posture and my disheveled appearance.

Katniss and Haymitch start yelling at each other, her face turning red with anger. All I can do is say nothing, lest my plan be discovered by Katniss. I'm not stupid, I know what she thinks. That I'm using her to get sponsors as the love struck boy from the district where there has never been a Hunger Games winner, aside from Haymitch. That I made her look stupid and weak all to make me pitiable and therefore more likely to get help.

_She is so off base. She still doesn't know the appeal she has._

"But we're not star-crossed lovers!" she rages, not bothering to look at me.

At her words, I feel a thousand pinpricks pierce my heart. Of course we're not, if I could only be so lucky as to be noticed by Katniss, even if it was to… earn her disdain? Get pinned by her? I tune out of their shouted conversation again, looking away from Katniss' fierce expression.

Suddenly horror grips my heart.

"She's just worried about her boyfriend," I bring up, wondering if my thoughts (and fear) are correct.

I quickly look up at her just in time to see her cheeks burn, feeling the despair take over my heart.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she scoffs, frowning as her blush fades.

_Yeah, right. Sell that one to the press._

"Whatever. But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it. Besides, you didn't say you loved _me_, so what does it matter?" I ask her, injecting a tone of indifference into my voice as I look away from her again, wanting to make her believe she's not good enough to deserve my attention.

With that, I turn and leave, not bothering to see if and what Katniss will do or say next.

_Of course, Mellark… I should have known. Of course she has something going on with Hawthorne! I should have known it… but I guess I didn't want to believe. How stupid am I? Everybody called it but me. Me, who is so in love with Katniss but she can't even stand at the thought to be my hypothetical lover, not even to save her life. Am I truly so disgusting to her?_

I arrive in my room and shut the door, unbuttoning my coat and flinging it into the chair in the corner. I pace my room, feeling something akin to frenzy take over me. I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated. Thoughts come and go, lacing themselves with the emotions that take hold of me. Anger, disdain, disappointment, sadness, bitterness, jealousy…

As I'm pacing, something catches my eye in the mirror and curious, I turn to see. If I didn't have so much insanity running through me, I'd probably laugh. My hair is wild, standing up in some parts. My eyes are narrowed, untrusting and cold. The top buttons of my shirt are unbuttoned as are the ones on my sleeves, with my sleeves pushed up my arms. I sigh as I take the appearance of this stranger who bares some resemblance to me yet has nothing in common with me. I sink to my plush bed, sighing softly, suddenly feeling drained. I drop my head into my hands and practice breathing uniformly. Not long after, I feel guilt wash over me.

_How could I think so cruelly of Katniss? She's only doing what she's best at: surviving. Very much like when she's school, she doesn't want to get involved with anything or anyone because she's only looking out for herself, doing what needs to get done. I need to stop being jealous of something that I would never be a part of, no matter how much it hurts me._

I lift my head and stare at my reflection once again. Hastily I attempt to flatten my hair, trying to get it to curl to the side as it was. I look at my eyes and they're no longer narrowed, but now they are just tired looking; thankfully I notice the same kind spark I'd like to think I have. My mouth no longer twisted cruelly into a sneer but now just in a defeated lip bite. I rub my eyes and fall back into my bed, feeling my stomach twist in hunger all of a sudden, which makes me bark out a laugh.

"What a day," I mumble out to nothing or no one in particular, closing my eyes wearily.

x-x-x

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed. :)


	3. Chapter 3: Darkness

Disclaimer: I own nothing. :)

x-x-x

Peeta

Startled, I sit up groggily in my bed. I look around the dark room, wondering how much time has passed since I closed my eyes. I look toward the huge double windows, which are currently letting in a thin stream of moonlight. Sitting up, I yank my shoes and socks off and amble to the windows. I peer out and despite myself, find myself amazed and impressed by all the lights in the Capitol. This is something that would never be seen at back home, it would be much too expensive. My eyes flicker to the sky and naturally can't find a star in sight. I open the curtains widely to let in more light and I lean my frame against the window, watching the people have a merry good time.

"What would it be like, living here?" I muse out loud, tracing my fingers on the glass.

I sigh, knowing I'd never ever find out even if I were to make it out of the arena alive. I shake myself and find my stomach growling uncomfortably again. I smile mischievously, struck by an idea and silently make my way out of my room and into the dining room.

_It's so quiet… unlike earlier. I really must apologize to them. It was rude how I just took off without excusing myself… especially to Effie, Portia and Cinna._

I reach the dining table and see all sorts of fruits arranged in a basket in the middle. I reach for the reddest apple and wipe it on my shirt out of habit (and not because I think it's dirty) and take a satisfying bite out of it. I walk toward the window again and watch the streets once more, not really thinking of anything.

What could have been minutes or even hours later, I hear familiar footsteps approaching and it makes my heartbeat speed up double time.

_Katniss, I could pick out your footsteps anywhere. That is how well I know you. _

"You should be getting some sleep," she whispers to me as she takes the spot next to me.

My heart thumps louder against my chest. The thought of her caring about something as inconsequential as my sleep makes me a little weak in the knees.

"I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us, after all," I say, gesturing toward the streets.

She refuses to look me in the eyes and I sigh internally, watching her stare at my chest. I abruptly feel my face burn as I remember I'd undone a few buttons in my lunacy.

_Could she be attracted to me…? Does she like what she sees?_

Slowly her eyes roam up and linger on my neck, forming a little crease between her brows, beckoning to be kissed away. She sighs softly and continues to look up at me, her eyes pausing on my lips, which causes my heart to jump into my throat; after what seems minutes her eyes finally meet mine. Not even the darkness that surrounds us could mask the blush that crept into her cheeks. How I longed to reach out and stroke her smooth cheek! Her grey eyes peer into mine, full of unspoken words and questions. Instead, I just smile gently at her, letting her know everything is okay. Her frown returned, deeper than ever as she stared at me, no doubt wondering what my problem was.

"Don't frown… don't you know your face will freeze like that?" I tease her, daring to reach out the tip of my finger to smooth the frown away.

She blinks, seemingly confused for a moment but then the corners of her lips quirk up in a tiny smile. I smile back at her, glad to have some sort of smile of hers any day over a frown. I pull my hand back and take the last bite of my apple, finally tossing the core away. She watches me and I look back at her, tilting my head slightly. Her eyes travel to my hair and a small laugh escapes her lips. Not being able to help myself, I laugh along with her, knowing how ridiculous my hair must look. We laugh as quietly as possible for several seconds but the effort of trying to laugh quietly makes us laugh even more.

I'd never seen Katniss look this carefree or happy, which made me stop and stare at her. I marveled at her beauty, the way her rosy cheeks complimented her tan skin, how her grey eyes sparkled, the way a tiny dimple appeared in the corner of her mouth. I knew I must look like the love struck boy I confessed myself to be earlier, but I don't care.

Katniss' laughter died on her lips as she studied me as well, as if seeing me for the first time. Her eyes roamed my face and her gaze touched my chest once more.

"Peeta…" she whispers, her voice soft.

"Katniss?" I murmur.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," she tells me, looking up into my eyes just as hers unexplainably fill with tears.

Now it was my turn to frown as I look back at her, ready to wipe the tears that threaten to spill over her dark lower lashes. We stared at each other for a few moments, unsure of what to say next.

"Why?" I ask her, wanting to take her into my arms and comfort her. But I knew better than that.

She bites her bottom lip (and I vaguely recall a conversation with my friends during lunch time where they talked about how when a girl bit her lip while talking to you usually meant that she wanted to be kissed, or so I learned. But I reluctantly push that memory out of my head) and takes a deep breath.

"It was wrong of me to go after you like that. I'm sorry," she whispers.

A chuckle escapes my lips despite my frown but she continues to stare at me and I see her eyes flicker to it.

"Don't you know… your face is going to freeze that way? Wouldn't want your pretty face frozen in a frown, would you Peeta?" she murmurs, stepping closer to me.

At that moment, I become incredibly aware of her. I glance down and see she's wearing a muted orange (or as I like refer to it, sunset orange, my favorite color) sleeping gown with a scoop neck, letting the tiniest bit of cleavage peek out. Her robe is a shade darker than her gown and her hair is loose, creating silken cascades of darkness around her shoulders. I make myself look at her face again and find that she's studying me again.

_Can't be that interesting or good-looking, can I? Wishful thinking, Mellark._

"You're quite strong, you know that?" I say, hoping to break the silence.

She smiles for a moment but then frowns playfully at me.

"Quite strong for being a girl? Is that what you mean, Mellark?" she asks menacingly, arching her brow as her voice lowers.

I suppress a shiver and involuntarily take a step towards her, getting the full impact of her Katniss scent: leather mixed with floral. I smile down at her, amused at her suddenly playful side.

"Of course not, Ms. Everdeen. If anything, I have learned not to underestimate females," I joke.

But even as I say it, the memories of my seemingly innocent mother hitting or beating me are relived. I wince, taking a step backwards. It seems like Katniss has an idea what passed through my head because she unknowingly presses her fingers to her cheek, the very spot my mother had hit me after I burned the bread for her.

I shake my head at her and force a smile which only causes her expression to fall. She suddenly straightens up and raises a finger into the air, a rare and bright smile on her face.

"Wait right here!" she whispers, running away.

I smile, perplexed about what that was about and turn to look out the window again. I smile without humor; at least I'm having some fun tonight too.

_Last wishes for a dying man_, I think dryly.

I hear her footsteps ghosting to me once more and before I know it she's standing in front of me, her breathing excited but with a wide smile on her face. I raise my eyebrow at her and she raises a tube of something or other in her hands. I look blankly at it, not sure what the meaning of this is was.

"I found this in the first aid kit in my bathroom earlier. It'll help. For the pain and possible bruising on your neck," she explains, looking shame-faced.

I feel something tug at my heartstrings and I find myself speechless.

"It's the least I can do," she murmurs, her grey eyes wide.

I sigh softly and smile, reaching out for the tube when she suddenly takes a step back, pulling the tube and herself out of my reach.

"I want to do it. If you don't mind that is," she adds quickly.

_Do I mind you touching me? Um, no! Touch away! If only Hawthorne could see us now…_

In fact, I crave her touch so... that I suddenly feel like a physically-starved child. I most certainly never got affection from my mother and my father was always busy at the bakery. Still, he tried his best and hugged me when he could.

"Alright," I concede, hoping my heartbeat doesn't give me away.

She takes the cap off methodically and squeezes out a small amount on her fingers. The very fingers that I've imagined touching me in countless daydreams; grazing my lips, brushing my hair out of my face and running them over my knuckles. I breathe in, wanting to calm myself down but to no avail as those fingertips stretch out toward me.

x-x-x

Katniss

The constricting feeling is back in my chest, feeling as though words are caught in my throat. A tremor runs through my fingers as my fingertips touch Peeta's collarbone. Slowly, I rub the ointment there, noticing the wild strum of his heart under my fingers.

_Is it really him? Or is it just my heart acting up this time?_

I breathe out slowly as I squeeze out more of the goo and rub it gently, not wanting to cause him any more pain than I already had. He shivers and I wonder if I'm hurting him. I look up at him, ready to ask him but the question dies on my lips as I notice his expression. The blazing look in his azure eyes is back and it catches me so off-guard that it makes my stomach do a funny little flip. I stare, suddenly realizing that I'm getting closer to him, fingers still idly rubbing the medicine onto his neck. I swallow thickly as his head dips lower toward mine, his eyes never leaving mine.

_He's going to kiss me! He's going to kiss me! Oh, my God! Peeta Mellark is going to kiss me!_

I lightly brush my fingers down his sturdy chest and notice a golden hair or two poking out. At the same time, a shudder runs through Peeta and he stops. I look up at him and he blinks, as if shaken out of his daze. His cheeks burn red and he smiles shyly, making a knot in my stomach. I smile uncertainly back at him as he takes a step back, his eyes clearing. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I feel disappointment pulse through me, my heartbeat slowing down.

_Calm down, Katniss… you're just helping him out. It's the least you could do. Even then… couldn't help yourself, could you? You're just drawn to this boy like a moth to a flame._

I wince at the bad metaphor, insinuating that Peeta would be my death.

_He just looks so… handsome. His hair mussed from sleep (and an argument with me, _I think guiltily)_ a few of his buttons undone, his sleeves pushed up, showing off his toned forearms. Plus, he's barefoot… dare I say it? He looks very appealing. Also, you were actually kind of looking forward to getting kissed by him, don't deny it Katniss! It would have been my first… and who better with than the current gentleman in my presence? But the moment passed, too bad! Live with it, Katniss. Unless I initiate it… no, don't start something you won't be able to end, dummy._

I sigh softly and very gently start buttoning up Peeta's shirt. I give him a small smile as he looks at me with a blank expression.

"Wouldn't want you to catch a cold the night before we're thrown into the arena," I half-joke with him.

A corner of his lips goes up in a smile but I can't help but notice there is some disappointment in his eyes.

_You and I, Peeta… you and I both._

__x-x-x

Peeta

Her fingers nimbly button my shirt and when she's done she gently pats my chest, which makes me smile. Before I can think or stop it, I reach out to take her hand in mine. She gasps softly and I press her hand against my chest, not caring if she feels my heart hammering away. I look deep into her eyes and squeeze her small hand, wanting to convey the gratitude I feel for taking care of me. Her cheeks burn and she smiles shyly at me, causing another little tug at my heart.

_Will my love for this girl never stop? Feels like it. Not that I mind. I will do anything in my power to keep that smile alive._

We continue to look at each other for a few more moments before I regrettably release her hand and she slowly takes it off my chest.

"Sleep would be good now," I whisper huskily.

She nods, her eyes roaming my face desperately; almost as if wanting to memorize every single curve and line of it.

"Goodnight, Katniss. See you tomorrow," I whisper into her ear, brushing my lips lightly across her cheek as I pull away, commanding my feet to walk away from her.

Possibly for the last time.

"See you tomorrow, Peeta," I hear her whisper behind me dejectedly.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.

x-x-x

Thanks for reading everybody!


	4. Chapter 4: Betrayal

A/N: So sorry for the long wait! Life and homework got in the way. I'd written this a while back and just finished editing it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Betrayal**

Peeta

I trail behind the Careers, listening to them joke cruelly amongst each other. For the most part I just keep to myself unless they talk to me first.

_Speak when you're spoken to, Mellark. Better safe than sorry. No matter how degrading it seems._

This way, I've learned quite a bit about what they say… and what they don't.

Take Cato for example, who is currently leader of what I can only refer to as this as a vicious wolf pack. He comes from District Two. He's tall and brawny, quick to show off his skills. He's very good with swords and is rapid to use them ruthlessly. He's not bad-looking either and I can tell that Glimmer is half in love with him already. However, Cato doesn't seem to be too bright. He acts first and thinks later. Which actually seems pretty smart here in the arena but I'm sure one of his actions is bound to backfire on him. Or at least I can hope. Also, if his name weren't Cato, 'Cocky' might have been a good substitute.

Next is Clove, also from District Two. She's small in stature but looks lean and powerful. She wields knives and never misses her target.

_Except back at the Cornucopia, _I think,_ where her knife landed on Katniss' orange backpack. Though, had Katniss not been carrying that, she would have been a goner for sure._

I shudder and say a quick prayer for Katniss' (initial) safety. I remember how I felt my heart lodge itself in my throat as I watched the knife sail through the air to Katniss; eyes wide, my breath faltering. I repress another shudder and watch Clove out of the corner of my eye.

She may look slight, but she is all types of menacing and cruel… even more so than Cato. While he may not think through an action twice, Clove plans. She's meticulous and incredibly smart. She's quiet most of the time, watching Cato and Glimmer from the corner of her eye. The expression on her face is more than enough to let one know that she's disgusted with how Glimmer hangs on to Cato's every word. Or could it be jealousy? Perhaps she simply finds it to be a distraction. With a girl like Clove, one can never tell. There are times when she taunts and laughs coldly, especially after taking down a tribute. She whoops and hollers, something akin to insanity shining in her eyes.

Then there is Glimmer. She's the tribute from District One. She's holding on to what I like to refer to as Katniss' bow and arrows. She's not very good, though. More often than not she misses and has to resort to borrowing one of Cato's swords to finish off her kill. She appears decent enough, if a little airheaded. Aside from when we're hunting looking for tributes, she seems to forget that at the end she's going to have to kill Cato or be killed by him.

Then we have Marvel, also from District One. He's tall and toned but nothing compared to Cato's size. He's handy with spears and has excellent aim. I have yet to see him miss his target. Marvel is another quiet one, usually watching Glimmer bat her eyelashes at Cato. While he tries to mask his expression, one can obviously tell that he himself is in love with Glimmer. Except maybe Glimmer herself.

_Doesn't that sound familiar, Mellark? Boy is in love with girl. Said girl is oblivious and in love with someone else._

I sigh softly, not wanting their attention to be directed towards me.

Finally, there's the girl from District Four. She didn't offer her name, instead opting to shrug her shoulders and look away as we all introduced ourselves into our little group. The others, not really caring, let it go. She's about Katniss height, with light brown eyes and dark honey brown hair. Her weapon of choice is her strength. However, since there isn't much of a chance that we'll wrestle anyone in the arena she uses a sword. She's handy enough with it, but she lacks Cato's finesse. She's another of the quiet ones, locking herself in her little world and speaking only when she absolutely needs to. Once or twice I catch her looking at me but she turns away before I can even raise my eyebrows at her.

And finally, there's me.

"Lover Boy!" Cato snaps.

That's what they all call me. I suppose I don't mind, except that they say it with a condescending tone, as if love if something to be scoffed at.

I stumble to the front, nearly tripping over a tree root.

_Stupid clumsy feet_, I curse at myself inwardly.

"You sure she went that way?" Cato asks.

I explain to him that yes, that that was her snare (that he almost got caught in) back there. I had to bite back my laughter as he almost fumbled into her trap. I congratulated Katniss in my head, incredibly proud of her. But then I briefly wondered what would have happened to me had Cato gotten stuck and died. Would the others have let continue in their pack? Would they have killed me? Would they still have let me "lead" them to Katniss? All in all, I'm glad he just got a scare out of it.

In actuality, I really have no idea where Katniss is at. For all I know, I _could_ be leading them to her. But I can only hope I'm leading them away, pretending to be helpful. As they start walking away something up in a tree catches my eye. Careful not to look directly, I manage to see that somebody tied themselves to the tree so they wouldn't fall down. It was actually pretty ingenious. Not seconds later, I see the tiniest bit of grey eyes peek from around the trunk and then disappear while I feel my heart stop.

_Katniss! She's up there, strapped to the tree! What if Cato saw her and tried to climb to her? What if Clove threw another of the knives which she hides under her jacket? What if Marvel caught sight of her and launched a spear her way? I must lead them away, right now and only hope that she's smart enough to go in opposite direction._

x-x-x

Katniss

Sure enough, that was Peeta's voice I heard. Anger and confusion surge through me as I settle back against the tree trunk.

_So it was an act all along! Why else would he be with the Careers? His charade of loving me was so he could make himself be liked enough by the audience so he could get sponsors! Aha! But I bet people from our district aren't lining up to sponsor him. In fact, they probably consider him a traitor! Oh, if I had those bow and arrows I saw back at the Cornucopia… wait a minute. Is that why he shook his head at me? To let me know whatever we had was broken and he would be joining the Careers? Or was it to make me believe that he himself wouldn't be getting anything from the Cornucopia all the while he was planning on hoarding the food and weapons along with the pack?_

I seethe, wishing in this very moment that I could untie myself and go after Peeta myself. In an instant a hundred ways of my killing him flash through my head and I feel savagely pleased, a manic smile twisting my features. However, not even a second later I get a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach and something twists in my chest. A wave of shame floods through me, leaving me to wonder how I'd _really_ feel if I were to see his face in the sky. I try to picture his body still and cold, his eyes glassy with all the warmth and kindness gone from them; his lips cold, never being able to utter soothing words again. I swallow back a noise, wrapping my arms around myself in comfort.

_No, that can't be his fate…_

I hear their footsteps vanish, their voices carrying out into the forest but I hear his voice no longer. Strange, since Peeta is a natural talker. I guess he must feel uncomfortable being in a group of ruthless killers. I wonder what he would get out of the bargain once he would lead them to me. For sure he would end up dead. There isn't much sense in the Careers letting him go.

I shake myself, demanding to stop thinking so much of Peeta and focus a little more on my survival. For Prim.

I close my eyes and what could have been minutes or hours pass when a strange, smoky scent enters my nose. I open my eyes and listen to branches crackling with what could only be… fire! I twist my upper body to look behind the trunk and sure enough there is a fire blazing in the forest, directed towards me. I untie the rope and stuff it hastily into my backpack, scaling the tree down and finally jumping onto the forest floor.

I run away, feeling the heat of the fire smoldering on my back. I sprint as fast as my legs can take me, my survival instincts taking over. Trees which have caught on fire are crashing down and I dive away, just in time to avoid being crushed by them. It isn't until I have a burn on my leg that my run turns into a limp. Luckily for me, there's a body of water ahead and I don't hesitate to jump into it. I immediately feel relief on my burn, biting my lip as I try not to touch it; it'll definitely sting once it dries down. I laze around in the water for a bit, enjoying the refreshing feeling upon my scorching skin.

It's then I hear it, voices. Soon enough, Peeta and the Career pack come into view and the boy from District One spots me. He laughs, pointing me out to his peers and they chase after me as I scramble from the water, looking for a good tree to climb. Finally I find a tall one and scale it instantly, ignore the pain from my burns and perching myself as high as I can as I watch them look for me.

Once I'm spotted, they taunt and scream at me to get down. I just smile pleasantly at them and notice that Peeta is avoiding looking at me.

_How strange. Is it because he's done his job? Or perhaps because he feels ashamed of having turned against me?_

The Careers make some conversation with me but is cut short as soon as Cato attempts to climb the tree but ends up falling. Angrily, Glimmer aims _my_ bow and arrow at me but fails massively; the arrow lands a few feet above me and so I grab it and wave it at her, taunting her.

Finally, I hear Peeta say harshly, "Oh, let her stay up there. It's not like she's going anywhere. We'll deal with her in the morning."

_Peeta Mellark, you bastard. If only I had my bow, I'd send this arrow right through your heart._

x-x-x

Peeta

Surprisingly, they listen to me and Cato commands that someone make a fire. I'm still avoiding looking at Katniss, not wanting to give myself away, but I can feel her stare burning into my skull. If looks could kill, I'd have dropped dead seconds ago.

_Yes, I'd have dropped dead from an arrow pierced into my heart. Right now, she may hate me and may be planning my death; if not savagely wishing for it. What she doesn't realize is that it's for her own good. Though I'm not sure how she's going to climb down that tree without anybody else noticing it. Maybe I can make some sort of distraction while she runs for it. For sure then I'd be dead. At least she'd have gotten away. Even then she'd still hate me, even if I'd be dying…_

We set camp around Katniss' tree, the Careers chatting amongst themselves while the girl from District Four takes peeks at me. All I do is just stare up into the spot where Katniss is seated at, hoping she's making plans for getting away even if she has no weapons other than the arrow and knife.

I fall asleep before long, with dreams of arrows piercing my heart and grey eyes literally burning me to death. Off in the distance, I hear a sawing sound but credit it to my dreams.

Then, chaos comes.

There's buzzing everywhere and Cato screams, "To the lake! To the lake!"

I scramble up and barely have any time to register what's going on or who did this to us. We run as fast as our legs carry us and throw ourselves in the cold water, careful not to sigh in relief under water lest we choke on it.

After the buzzing above us goes away, we slowly come out of the water and look at our surroundings, gasping for breath.

"Hang on a minute… where's Glimmer?" Marvel questions.

"And the girl from District 4," Clove adds.

"How should I know? Maybe she took another path," Cato said dismissively.

"Did you do anything to her you bastard?" Marvel hissed.

Cato let out a scathing laugh.

"Do you honestly think-"

_This is it! This is my chance to escape! I can only hope Katniss has vanished by now… but, just in case…_

While they argue senselessly, I slip away noiseless and break into a run.

x-x-x

I hope you all enjoyed it! :)


	5. Chapter 5: Redemption

Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins. :)

**Redemption**

Peeta

I didn't bother looking back to see if they had noticed I had gotten away. I just ran like my life depended on it. Still, I couldn't hear footsteps chasing after me so that put my mind somewhat at ease. Until I arrive to the place where I had last seen Katniss. She was loitering around, staring at the bow and arrows gripped in her hand incredulously.

"Katniss! Go! What are you doing here? Go!" I scream at her, poking her with the less deadly end of my spear.

She blinks and stares at me dazedly, the Tracker Jacker venom taking its effect in her bloodstream, I'm sure.

"Peeta?" she whispers, reaching out her hand to me.

"Damn it, Katniss… run!" I lightly slap her hand away, pushing her as I hear footsteps headed our way.

She shakes her head, as if trying to clear her head. It looks like she's about to speak again but instead she just turns around and speeds away.

I watch her go, letting out a huge sigh of relief as her back finally vanishes into the forest.

"Thought you could outsmart us, didn't you Lover Boy?" Cato asks.

I whip around, my stance in combat mode as I point my spear at him.

"I'm pretty sure I did a good job of it, actually," I answer him cheekily.

I see Clove reach into her jacket for a knife when Cato reaches out a hand to stop her.

"Leave him to me. I want to watch as the life fades from his eyes," he says coldly.

I stare undifferentially at him, beckoning him to come closer with my fingers.

"So eager to die, Lover Boy. Why's that? Because Katniss hates you now?" he taunts.

"On the contrary, Cato. Because I saved her life. I had never planned on coming out alive, you know. Now that I've done my job, I can go peacefully," I answer him, dodging a swipe of his sword.

He laughs scornfully at me.

"_Love_. How pathetic. But you're right about one thing… you never had much of a chance of going out alive. You're much too meek and nice, Mellark."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It is. Especially if you're stuck here with people like us," he leers at me.

I dodge another swipe and end up stumbling on some roots, falling down on the forest floor. Cato looms over me, fingering the blade of his sword lovingly.

"And now, you die. It's nothing personal, Lover Boy. All business," he smirks. "Any last words or a parting message for your dear Katniss once I find and kill her?"

Hate flames through my veins and I have the crazy urge to stand up and run away. I ignore it, however, knowing that Cato would only kill me even more cruelly than he had planned. Then, pity runs through me. I look up at him and give him a small smile.

"I feel so sorry for you, Cato," I tell him, closing my eyes.

I can hear him hesitate and finally feel some blinding pain on my upper thigh. I yell out and force my eyes to stay shut, waiting for the next strike.

"That should be enough. You won't die right away, Lover Boy. Instead, you'll bleed out slowly and painfully. Who's the one feeling sorry now?" he laughs as they start to walk away from me.

"Certainly not you, Cato! You probably don't even know what it means!" I scream out after him, not wanting to look at my wound.

Already I could feel my blood seeping out and so I take in a deep breath.

_Man up, Mellark!_

I find the wound on my thigh, the dark red staining my clothes and the grass. I can almost see the torn tendons on my leg and I grimace. In a few hours, I'll be dead. For sure at nighttime my face will appear up in the sky. For a moment I wonder what Katniss' reaction would be. Will she be pleased? Upset that she didn't kill me herself? Would she be sad?

I shake myself and let out a soft laugh.

"Katniss hates me. And now I'm going to die without her knowing that it was all for her. Surely she'll know at the end…"

Then I got an idea.

_I still have a few hours left, right? Maybe I can go look for her! Sure, I'd be limping around but it would be better than staying here like road kill, right?_

I struggle to get up but eventually manage to get on my feet. I see the spear lying a few feet away from me and I limp to get it; I can use it to support my weight! And possibly fend off any attackers.

So then I take off.

Hours could have passed for all I knew but soon it began to grow darker. Thankfully I hadn't crossed paths with any tributes and unfortunately didn't cross paths with Katniss. Sighing softly, I rest my weight on the spear… and then I hear a stream nearby and push myself with all of my strength to reach it. Surely I couldn't let myself be unprotected at night, death at my door or not. I sit down on the cool bank and splash some water on my weary face and arms, drinking a bit to soothe my dry throat. I feel a sudden chill in the air and I wrap my arms around myself.

But then I get a better idea.

I drag myself a little closer to the water and mix some of the earth with it, plastering it on my feet and legs. I wince as I cover my wound, biting my lower lip to keep from whimpering or crying out. I scoop out a much larger amount and manage to cover my torso but not before gathering some weeds and greens to cover myself further. Finally, I cover my face, leaving out two little holes for my nostrils; I put a very light layer across my lids, just in case I need to open my eyes. I knew in a few hours my body would sink further into the earth, camouflaging me entirely.

_Is this it? My final resting place? Is this the last of Peeta Mellark? If only I'd gotten to Katniss sooner, then maybe we could have run off together…_

I feel my body get hotter and had I not buried myself, I'd be shaking violently. I stream in and out of consciousness, dreaming of Katniss and a distorted version of her. Dreaming of home back in District 12. Of my family, baking bread together early in the morning. Even my mother pops up in my dreams, this version of her kinder and more loving. I feel myself ache with longing, wanting to go back home so badly. But I knew in order for Katniss to go back safely herself, I must give up my life.

_Her life in exchange for mine, not a bad trade, right? Nobody would particularly miss me. Sure, my family (except my mother) would grieve but they would all move on. But Katniss… her mother would die. Her little sister would never be the same. I couldn't strip away her away from them. She was the one who put meals on the table. They'd starve without her. Katniss could finally be happy with Gale without me in the way. Not that I ever really was competition… that is how much I love Katniss. If only she really knew how I feel… it's all useless now. Except this last gift to her._

I sigh and give into the blackness that was threatening to take over me. I welcome it, hoping that at last my time had come.

…

"Peeta?" I hear her voice whisper. "Peeta?"

_Surely I must be dead now… I'm hearing her voice. Is this heaven? If it is, why do I feel so heavy? _

I blearily open my eyes and see Katniss walking carefully, her eyes alert.

_Is she looking for me? Am I actually still alive? Have I really held on so long just to see her one last time?_

"Come to finish me off, sweetheart?"

"Peeta, where are you?" she asks me, puzzled.

"Well, don't step on me," I croak out, opening my eyes to look up at her.

She gasps, causing me to laugh.

"Close your eyes again," she commands.

I do as she says, staying completely still as she surveys me.

_Or gets ready to kill me._

"I guess all those hours decorating cakes paid off."

"Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying."

"You're not going to die," she tells me stubbornly.

"Says who?"

"Says me. We're on the same team now," she says, kneeling to take a closer look at me.

_I guess I didn't imagine the announcement from Claudius._

"So, I heard. Nice of you to find what's left of me," I tell her, opening my eyes once more to look at her.

She gave me a sip of water and watches me intently.

"Did Cato cut you?"

"Left leg. Up high."

Something in her eyes stirs as she briefly glances at said place in my leg.

"Let's get you in the stream, wash you off so I can see what kind of wounds you've got."

"Lean down a minute first. Need to tell you something," I whisper.

She leans down to me and I can see the freckles on the bridge of her nose.

"Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

She blinks and her gaze slides to where my lips would be, parting her own lips slightly. Unexpectedly, I feel my heart slam against my ribcage as I yearn to touch her. She looks into my eyes once more and lets her eyes roam my face.

_How handsome and appealing I must look to her_, I think sarcastically.

She swallows hard but not before jerking back and letting out a laugh.

"Thanks, I'll keep it in mind."

How I managed not to cry, whimper or sob as she moved me is beyond me. Maybe I'm much stronger than I thought. Or maybe I'm just weaker, dying as the seconds pass.

She sits me down and starts pouring water over me as I watch the woods for her like she asked me to. I can feel her fingers probing my chest, scraping mud off of my clothes. She finally unzips my jacket, carefully removing my shirt. My undershirt is practically stuck on me so she pours some water on it before taking out her knife and cutting it off of me. She gets to my hair and washes that as well while I enjoy the feel of her fingers on my scalp. I close my eyes momentarily, imagining that's how it would feel if she were to run her fingers through my hair. She then tends to the cuts and stings on my chest while I sigh with relief, bringing a tiny smile out of her.

"Swallow these," she orders me, handing me two tiny pills.

I do as she tells me and once again the corners of her lips turn up.

"You must be hungry."

"Not really. It's funny, I haven't been hungry for days," I tell her honestly.

Her eyes widen a fraction as she digs around her backpack and offers me some kind of meat, which makes me wrinkle my nose and turn away. I give her an apologetic look with my eyes and she just sighs.

"Peeta, we need to get some food in you," she insists.

"It'll just come back up," I tell her, remembering the smell of the thing she offered me.

Instead, she hands me bits of dried apple and I have no choice but to eat it slowly, not wanting to show her any more ungratefulness. I swallow it with difficulty, willing myself not to throw it back up and she watches me with satisfaction.

"Thanks. I'm much better, really. Can I sleep now, Katniss?" I ask her, my lids heavy and thoughts swimming around.

"Soon," she promises. "I need to look at your leg first."

With the lightest touch she removes my shoes, socks and pants. Had we been in another scenario, I would have been rather excited. However, having a bloody wound certainly dampens ones mood. I watch her carefully and I notice how her expression barely masks disgust.

"Pretty awful, huh?"

She gives me the briefest of glances as she begins to pour water on the wound and clean my lower body.

"So-so."

_What a liar she is. She knows perfectly well that I'll be dead soon. So why is she doing this? Maybe she really does have hope in us going home. Then I could be treated. The waiting, however, could prove potentially problematic._

I continue to watch her face, noticing how she tends to frown while concentrated. Or how she nibbles on the corner of her lip when she feels she is at a loss. And when you combine those two, you know you've truly stumped Katniss.

"Why don't we give it some air and then…"

"And then you'll patch it up?" I finish for her, wishing with all my might that Katniss could truly help me.

Now, it's not because if she were able it would mean that I'd live. No, no. I just want her to feel like she has truly helped me, instead of feeling useless… as I currently feel. It's frustrating, not being able to do anything but sit idly as the girl you love tries to heal you.

"That's right. In the meantime, you eat these," she says as she hands me dried pears.

I take them and she stands, taking my clothes with her. I eat the pears slowly, thinking of how in Districts like ours people are starving and here I am, refusing to eat these little scraps of food. I feel the burn of shame course through my body and I force myself to finish the other half. She soon comes back and starts to sort through the medicine kit she brought with her.

_What Katniss wouldn't have done for little things like this back when I gave her the bread? Any little thing to give enough sustenance to continue living. For example, the way Katniss is currently behaving. How could I possibly die when she's tending to me so… so… diligently? I must continue holding on. If not for myself, then for her. _


	6. Chapter 6: The Cave

A/N: Sorry for the humongous delay! I'd been so busy with birthdays, trips and holidays. But I'm back now, excited for everyone to read. I must admit I had a bit of writer's block, which is another reason why it took me so long to finish this section! ^^; Also, this is three parts of the cave section in the book. Hope you can distinguish 'em all. XD I am sad to say, though, that I'm only including one more chapter and then I'll be done with The Hunger Games. I may continue with Catching Fire... but I'm not sure. There's so many good fanfics out there with Peeta's point of view that I find it pointless. but like I said, we'll see. Do let me know your opinion, though! :) Oh, and all of this is written from Peeta's viewpoint! Do enjoy. n_n

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

x-x-x

**The Cave**

Peeta

Katniss tucks me into the sleeping bag and forces me to take some more medicine to bring my fever down. I take it but flat out refuse to eat any more dried fruit because then for sure I'd puke it up all over her.

_And really, just how much more attractive could I possibly get right now? _I think sarcastically, knowing I must look like I've been through hell and back.

My lips feel parched and my hair was no doubt all over the place, greasy and muddy. Sure, my clothes were clean but I still felt grimy and gross.

I watch as Katniss tries to conceal the opening of the cave but then tears it down in frustration. A smile graces my face as I watch her kick at the vines and mutter something at them under her breath.

"Katniss," I call her name out.

She looks up and then strides toward me, sitting down next to me and brushing hair away from my eyes. I feel a pull on my heart as she very gently strokes it.

"Thanks for finding me."

"You would have found me if you could," she tells me nonchalantly, her fingertips halting on my forehead.

Her eyes widen the tiniest bit and I see fear stir in their gray depths as she becomes aware that my fever hasn't gone away.

"Yes. Look, if I don't make it back-" I begin.

"Don't talk like that. I didn't drain all that puss for nothing," she tells me, half joking.

"I know. But just in case I don't-" I try to continue.

"No, Peeta, I don't even want to discuss it," she tells me sternly, placing her fingers over my lips to silence me.

"But I-" I mumble from under her pleasantly cool fingers.

Suddenly my vision goes dark and I feel a pressure against my lips. I blink in confusion and realize that Katniss is kissing me. I shut my eyes and force myself to concentrate on her lips, the sound of my heartbeat thundering in my ears.

_Katniss is kissing me. Katniss Everdeen is kissing me! Kiss her back, you idiot!_

Before I can, though, she pulls away from me and pulls up the sleeping back around me, tucking me in again.

"You're not going to die. I forbid it. Alright?" she tells me in a tone that I dare not argue back.

"All right," I whisper, my thoughts scrambled.

She goes outside and I stare at the top of the cave.

_What was that? Why did she kiss me? It was so spontaneous… not very much like Katniss. I'm not one to complain, of course… how long I have waited for that. Which takes me back to my original question, why did she kiss me? Was it to affirm her feelings for me? Because she truly cares for me? Maybe even loves me? I can't ask her why she did it, of course. It would be the worst mood killer ever, even more so than the gash on my thigh. I should have definitely kissed her back! Perhaps she wasn't convinced of my feelings and that's why she pulled away. Or maybe she's just embarrassed that our kiss was on tv. Uh-oh. That was seen by all Panem. Her mother. My mother. Hawthorne. No matter… fact of the matter is that Katniss kissed me. And I fully intent to kiss her back next time. Katniss Everdeen. The girl on fire. Honestly, how lucky am I…?_

I shut my eyes and feel myself start to drift off into sleep.

"Peeta!" I hear her call my name in the distance, her voice sweet and songlike.

I feel her lips pressed against my own again and but pulls away before I can once again respond, so I open my eyes and look up at her hovering over me. I smile at her, drinking in the sight of her and I get the warm feeling that I could stare at her forever.

She looks back at me, her eyes somewhat curious but tender and focused on _me_.

She holds something up and smiles brightly, "Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you."

"That was extremely nice of him, Katniss, but I can't possibly eat all that," I tell her as she helps me up in a sitting position.

"Come on, Peeta! You need to eat so you can regain your strength," she tells me, taking the top of the pot off.

She stirs the smell of the soup towards me, and sure enough, it smells delicious. But I knew I wouldn't be able to hold all of it down. I smile at her apologetically and she just stares at me sternly, her lips pressed into a thin line. She lets out a heavy sigh and hunches, no doubt scheming of a way to get me to drink my soup.

"Maybe you should eat it, Katniss. That way it doesn't go to waste," I tell her.

She straightens up and smirks at me.

"How about a kiss for every sip you take?" she suggests.

"Well then… that changes things," I tell her, holding my hands out for the pot, eliciting a laugh out of her.

-x-

I open my eyes slowly as I feel the sunshine pouring from the outside and falling across my face. I sit up slowly, expecting to see Katniss at the mouth of the cave. I blink, frowning as I don't see her at her usual post. Alarm slowly rises in me, soon turning into panic as my eyes roam the cave, looking for any kind of sign.

_What if they just took her? But it would make absolutely no sense to leave me alive! Surely Cato wouldn't be so generous as to leave me alive again… oh, Katniss! Where are you? What happened to you?_

I struggle mightily to manage myself into a standing position. Not eating has certainly caught up with me as my legs give out from under me. I groan, frustrated that my stupid legs aren't cooperating with me. It's then when I hear her footsteps and I feel relief wash over me as I lean against the wall, my legs struggling to keep me in a standing position.

"I woke up and you were gone. I was worried about you," I reprimanded her.

She laughs as she takes my arms and helps me back down gently.

"You were worried about me? Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" she asks jokingly but I see something stir in the depth of her grey eyes.

_Oh, yes… I look disgusting. Rub it in, why don't you?_

"I thought Cato and Clove had found you. They like to hunt at night," I told her seriously, my eyes never leaving her stormy-hued ones.

"Clove? Which one is that?" she questions, a tiny crease forming between her brows.

"The girl from District Two. She's still alive, right?" I ask her anxiously.

"Yes, there's just them and us and Thresh and Foxface. That's what I nicknamed the girl from Five. How do you feel?"

She takes a seat next to me, her eyes roving my face.

"Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud. Clean clothes and medicine and a sleeping bag… and you," I tell her honestly, feeling my face get hot.

A strange emotion flitters across her tan face and almost at once she smiles, reaching out her hand to caress my cheek. At her touch, my heart jump starts and I smile back at her, taking her cool hand and pressing it against my lips. Something in her gaze softens and her smile turns wistful.

Words couldn't possibly describe this moment of sublime happiness and nothing could take what I feel away. Not even the fact that we were in the middle of a deadly game, being hunted for The Capitol's amusement's sake.

After coaxing me into eating (and many kisses later), I notice the dark circles growing under her eyes.

"You didn't sleep," I chastise her.

"I'm all right," she lies, shrugging it off.

"Sleep now. I'll keep watch. I'll wake you if anything happens," I offered.

_Not that I can do much, anyway… I'm practically an invalid. If anything, I'm just a burden to her…_

She hesitates, biting down on her bottom lip as her eyes quickly glance at the opening of the cave.

"Katniss, you can't stay up forever," I tell her gently.

"All right. But just for a few hours. Then you wake me," she says sternly, finally succumbing to her weariness.

She smoothes down the sleeping bag and lies down, one hand on her loaded bow and the other tucked between her thighs. I sit next to her, leaning against the wall with my legs stretched out before me as I survey the sunshine pouring into the cave.

"Go to sleep," I murmur softly, tenderly stroking her hair off her forehead.

From the corner of my eye I see Katniss' figure relax slowly and I chance a look at her, her eyes drooping with exhaust from having taken care of me. My chest fills with love for this girl who so willingly put her life on the line in order to restore me back to health. If we got out of this alive, a day would never pass when I wouldn't show her my gratitude. I smile as Katniss finally falls into a deep sleep, all lines of worry, sadness and anger gone from her face. At this moment, she looks a few years younger; at least the age when I saw her in my backyard that fateful and rainy afternoon…

I bite my lip as I wonder what would have happened had she not been discovered by my mother.

_Would Katniss have wasted away in my own backyard? Would she have died on the streets? Would someone else have taken care of her? I don't even want to think of those dreadful possibilities…_

I continue to stroke her hair even though she's asleep but I'm so tempted to caress her cheek, to lightly brush my thumb across her full lower lip. I don't want to come across as some sort of pervert who takes advantage of girls while they sleep, though. So I merely brush my thumb across her cheek and smile, drinking in all of this peaceful Katniss. I sigh softly, wishing I could stay in this moment forever with her.

_But, if we do win… we'll each have our own house in the Victor's Village. We'd be neighbors and would probably see each other every day. And if something more comes out of this… well, odds are that Katniss and I will end up married. Wow. Katniss Mellark. I rather like the sound of that…_

I let myself fantasize my wedding to Katniss for a few moments, sweetly reveling in the euphoria of making her my wife. It would be on a day where the horrors of the Hunger Games would be a thing of the past. A day where children could grow happily and comfortably, knowing nothing of starvation or fear.

She'd don a simple white dress no doubt designed by Cinna and I'd be sporting a basic suit created by Portia. We'd be surrounded by our nearest and dearest, all toasting and cheering to us and our happiness. Katniss would be glowing, her cheeks rosy with merriment and I'd be the proudest and luckiest man alive. But following that would be our wedding night, our first night as man and wife…

I feel my cheeks redden as I shake those thoughts away.

_I don't want to sully Katniss like that, she deserves so much better._

So instead I look down at her and very gently caress her cheek.

But then my mind wanders even further and I think about our children. I continue watching Katniss and wonder who they would look like. Would they inherit her dark tresses or my fair ones? Her stormy grey eyes or my blue ones? How about the tiny dimples which appear on the corners of her lips when she smiles?

I smooth Katniss' hair back once more very gently, careful not to wake her and at once I can picture myself smoothing the hair on a mini Katniss.

_She'd stare at me, her blue eyes wide as I recount the story of how I proposed to her mother, her dark curls cascading around her. Then her brother jumps onto her bed, making her to giggle, his mop of golden hair flopping over his grey eyes. I sweep them into my arms and hold them tightly, telling them how much I love them. Katniss would then come into the room with a frown on her face, ready to tell us off for not being tucked in already but her expression would soon be replaced by a heartwarming smile. She'd help me put them to bed and we'd stare at our little angels, love and wonder in our eyes. She'd take my hand and squeeze it, turning to look at me. Her eyes are filled with unparalleled joy and despite the years that have passed us by, there could be no mistake that I'm the man she's always wanted to be with._

_Even if Katniss doesn't seem to be very maternal at first, she eventually warms up to the idea of loving and taking care of someone who would be half of the other. How could she not when she so diligently and lovingly took care of her little sister? When she took care of me?_

_She'd teach them how to use the bow and arrow and I would teach them how to bake. Even so, our little girl would spend hours with me in the kitchen, baking delicate little cakes and breads as our son would spend hours with his mother in the forest, congratulating each other on their game or their skill of making snare traps._

I sigh, grief washing over me over these phantom children. No matter how loved or wanted they would be, this would be no life for them. Their reaping would be inevitable, especially if both their parents were Victors.

_Focus, Mellark! Dreaming or wishing about the future is useless, especially if my present currently looks so bleak. I must recover so that I can finally be stand with equal footing to Katniss. Once we eliminate the others, we'll be crowned Victors and we'll be able to go home. Home… how pleasant and safe that sounds. Compared to being here, at least._

-x-

Despite my feeling better earlier, my fever had returned with full force, racking my body with shivers. Katniss watches me, worry etched in her forehead and mouth.

Suddenly the trumpets blare, almost causing me to jump out of my skin. Katniss runs to the mouth of the cave as Claudius Templesmith makes an announcement about a feast.

"Now hold on. Some of you may already be declining my invitation. But this is no ordinary feast. Each of you needs something desperately."

At those words, Katniss whips around to look at me, her eyes slowly going to my leg.

"Each of you will find that something in a back, marked with your district number, at the Cornucopia at dawn. Think hard about refusing to show up. For some of you, this will be your last chance," Claudius booms ominously.

Katniss turns around again, clearly not wanting me to see her thinking out her plan of action. I scramble to get up and even if I'm not quiet, she doesn't notice as I loom behind her. I grab her shoulder, causing her to jump as she turns around again to glare at me.

"No. You're not risking your life for me," I tell her clearly.

"Who said I was?" she asks defiantly.

"So you're not going?" I ask her, wanting to believe her.

"Of course I'm not going. Give me some credit. Do you think I'm running straight into some free-for-all against Cato and Clove and Thresh? Don't be stupid," she tells me, not quite looking into my eyes as she helps be back on our makeshift bed. "I'll let them fight it out, we'll see who's in the sky tomorrow night and work out a plan from there."

Her lips may be telling me one thing, but her eyes and face reveal another.

"You're such a bad liar, Katniss. I don't know how you've survived this long."

I then mimic her, repeating back some of her words to me, watching as her face grows red.

"Never gamble at cards. You'll lose your last coin," I tell her, hoping to soften my speech.

"All right, I am going and you can't stop me!" she fumes rebelliously.

"I can follow you. At least partway. I may not make it to the Cornucopia, but if I'm yelling your name, I bet someone can find me. And then I'll be dead for sure," I threaten.

"You won't get a hundred yards from here on that leg," she tells me knowingly.

"Then I'll drag myself. You go and I'm going, too," I tell her stubbornly.

She watches me, the anger fading from her eyes as they slowly turn pleading.

"What am I supposed to do? Sit here and watch you die?" she whispers, biting her bottom lip.

"I won't die. I promise. If you promise not to go," I appeal to her, already knowing someone was going to break their promise.

She watches me shrewdly, her mouth frozen in a frown.

"Then you have to do what I say. Drink your water, wake me when I tell you, and eat every bite of the soup no matter how disgusting it is!" she snaps at me.

"Agreed. Is it ready?" I ask her, hoping to distract her.

"Wait here," she tells me, taking off.

_Like I could go even if I wanted to, as you so kindly reminded me._

When she comes back, I eat the soup without complaint. It actually doesn't taste so bad and I scrape every bit I can out of it to appease Katniss, prattling about how good it tastes. That alone should have tipped Katniss off about my fever and sure enough, gives me some medicine for it after I finish.

I clean myself up and lean back against the now cool rock, enjoying the sensation on my hot skin. I close my eyes and will myself to breathe evenly when I hear Katniss come back from cleaning the pot and herself.

"I've brought you a treat. I found a new patch of berries a little farther downstream," she tells me, smiling at me.

I take a bite without a word, not wanting to get on her bad side again. I swallow and then frown contemplatively.

"They're very sweet."

"Yes, they're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you ever had them before?" she asks me, her eyes wide with surprise as she feeds me another spoonful.

"No. But they taste familiar. Sugar berries?" I repeat, puzzled.

"Well, you can't get them in the market much, they only grow wild," she tells me, stuffing the spoon into my mouth.

"They're sweet as syrup," I comment as Katniss all but rams the spoon into my mouth. "Syrup."

I feel my eyes widen as I realize what she's given me. It must be a concoction of berries plus sleep syrup… to what? Knock me out. So she can go to the damn Cornucopia after all.

I try to spit the "treat" out but Katniss covers my mouth and clamps her fingers over my nose, forcing me to swallow. I finally do and frantically try to make myself throw it back up but it's useless, I can feel the syrup taking its effect on me. I slump back against the wall, my vision hazy but I can still make out Katniss, accusation, anger and disbelief in my eyes before I completely black out.

Hours or days could have passed but I find myself eventually coming to, the soothing sound of rain in the background. If I didn't know any better, I would think I was back at home in District Twelve. Despite the scent of rain, there was another odor in the air, more metallic and salty… but then sudden pain in my forearm stops me and the events before my blackout come to me.

_Katniss! Syrup! Feast! Cornucopia!_

I open my eyes and sit up, my eyes widening as I see Katniss lying in a terrifying pool of blood beside me. My mouth drops and I spot the deep gash on her forehead.

"Oh, Katniss… oh, no!" I mutter frantically, getting on my knees and hands to go to her.

Immediately I check her pulse and find an unsteady, weak rhythm throbbing back at me. I hover near her lips and feel the warm tickle of her breath on my ear, causing me to fall back on my legs with relief.

_This is no time to relax, Mellark! I must attend to her before she loses anymore blood and her pulse grows weaker!_

I rummage through the kit she brought with her and find some clean bandages.

_Yes! I'll wrap her head with this. But I need to clean the wound first…_

I glance at the water gathered in the pot from the rain and decide to use that. I dip a bandage in it, wring the excess water out and wipe gently at the gash. I finally get it to look clean enough but then my biggest problem is getting the wound to stop bleeding. I apply pressure with a clean bandage and then use some more to secure it around her head. Thankfully, that seems to keep the bleeding at bay. I sigh with relief but my next worry is that Katniss is sopping wet. I carefully remove her shoes and socks, placing them in a dry nook of the cave, hoping they dry in time. I remove her jacket very gently and wrap her in mine before tucking her into the sleeping back. I fashion a tent out of the plastic she carries, so that the water doesn't splash on her. Somehow I manage to wipe the floor clean of her blood but I find that I can't quite get rid of the scent… at least it looks decent now.

I plop down on the floor next to her, watching her eerily pale face.

"Damn it, Katniss… I never anticipated you giving me so much trouble. But it's definitely worth it. You're worth it," I whisper to her, swallowing back my fear and anger.

I eye the syringe disposed carelessly on the floor.

_I suppose that's what Katniss shot into my arm to make me feel better. Oh, Katniss… will you never stop saving me? I thought I could just die to let her win, but now… after all we've been through… I'll never be able to let you go. You're the reason why I'm here, catching my breath. The reason why I'll be going back home to District Twelve… by your side. As Victors._

x-x-x

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! :)


	7. Chapter 7: Heartbreak

****A/N: Here it is, the ending. I definitely had so much fun writing (mostly) from Peeta's perspective. Sometimes his thoughts would just come to me and at other times I must admit I struggled quite a bit. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed and read... cheese buns for you! ;)

x-o-x

**Heartbreak**

"From the moment I laid eyes on her," I answer Caesar honestly, taking Katniss' hand in mine and giving it a squeeze.

"But, Katniss, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" Caesar queried.

_**Love**__. She loves me. Katniss loves __**me**__._

At his words, I feel my heart lighten. I haven't felt this elated since… well, it's definitely been a while.

Still, considering what we have just been through: living in peril and almost dying, having Katniss by my side has definitely made this hellish ordeal downright bearable.

"Oh, that's a hard one…" she says breathily, looking down at her hands.

I tilt my head slightly, curious to hear her response.

_Well, we certainly spent a lot of time together in the cave… the circumstances weren't particularly ideal but it was time getting to know her nonetheless. Had I not loved Katniss before, listening to her story about Prim's goat would have definitely opened my heart up to her. __ But if I'm truly honest with myself, I realized that my feelings for her until then had been merely an infatuation, no doubt sugarcoated by the fact that my father had loved her mother. I must admit that I was captivated by her when she sang the valley song, my interest thoroughly piqued by her mellifluous voice. But when I saw her passed out in the cave, bleeding profusely from her head_, I was terrified out of my skin for her. She was so vulnerable... and she'd done everything in her hands to save me. So it goes without saying that made me aware of the true love that had blossomed for her in my heart. Katniss may initially be a little tough to get to know, but once she opens her heart to you, you know you're in for the long haul.

Still, her hesitance makes me anxious. And if I didn't know any better, the way she's avoiding eye contact would have definitely sounded an alarm off in my head.

"Well, I know when it hit me. The night when you shouted out his name from that tree," Caesar smiles genially, giving me a hearty wink.

"Yes, I guess that was it. I mean, until that point, I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be, honestly, because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him. But then, in the tree, everything changed," Katniss confesses, squeezing my hand in return.

I feel my heart soar once more, my anxiety and doubt squashed by her exalted smile at Caesar.

"Why do you think that was?" Caesar pressed.

"Maybe… because for the first time… there was a chance I could keep him," she replies slowly, turning to look at me.

I look back at her, my chest tightening with affection for this girl. I swallow thickly, wanting to dissolve the embarrassing knot in my throat, pressing my forehead gently against her temple.

"So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?" I ask her a bit huskily, feeling a corner of my lips go up as I attempt to push the inappropriate thoughts away.

She pulls away slightly and turns to me.

"Put you somewhere you can't get hurt," she tells me, her eyes bright with fervor.

Without thinking, I pull her toward me and kiss her, wrapping my arms tightly around her. She responds in kind, her soft lips moving against mine and I feel as if the blood in my veins has been replaced with fire. The last time I'd felt something close this was back at the cave, after I bandaged her head when she came back from the "feast". But even then that kiss felt stronger and hotter… and once again I struggle to push away my thoughts away. Eventually we pull away, our faces red with a silly grin gracing mine.

So then Caesar segues into all the ways we _did_ get hurt… and sure enough, he asks me _that_ question.

"So, Peeta, how's your new leg working out for you?"

I nervously tap my fingers against my now-plastic knee.

"New leg?" Katniss murmurs, reaching down to lift the hem of my pants.

I purse my lips and silently curse at Haymitch. I'd wanted to tell her separately, with no Caesar and no definitely no audience to dramatize the situation.

"Oh, no," I hear her breathe out, her wide gray eyes snapping up to look up at me with disbelief.

"No one told you?" Caesar asks gently.

"I haven't had the chance," I answer lightly, shrugging.

_Once again, damn you Haymitch. For keeping us away… what his reason is, I don't know. To make our reunion sweeter, I suppose. But would it have killed him to let us know that we would have to wait to see each other?_

"It's my fault. Because I used that tourniquet," she says remorsefully, pain etched in her forehead.

"Yes, it's your fault I'm alive," I tell her gently.

"He's right. He'd have bled to death for sure without it," Caesar interjects.

Katniss then buries her face in my shirt and I wrap my arms around her comfortingly, wanting to convey to her that I don't blame her at all for losing my leg.

_Sure, this leg will take getting used to… but it's just a small price to pay, I think. Considering that both of us were just crowned victors when the standard is only one. We could have made it out much worse. For example, we could have died by eating the nightlock. Or maybe Katniss would have tried to kill herself. Dying with her wouldn't have been a bad way to go, though... but still. We're very fortunate._

We try to persuade Katniss to come out of my shirt and after a few minutes her face emerges, pale as moonlight despite the hearty tan we all got back at the arena. Thankfully Caesar backs off questioning Katniss until the subject of the berries come up.

"Katniss, I know you've had a shock, but I've got to ask. The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind… hm?"

She stays quiet for a long moment, her eyes never leaving Caesar's. I can almost hear the wheels in her mind turning… but why?

_Why is it taking her this long to answer? Shouldn't she be able to respond immediately? Then again, she did receive a big shock about my new leg._

"I don't know, I just… couldn't bear the thought of… being without him," she finally answers, turning to look at me.

I give her a small encouraging smile and in return she lifts a corner of her lips.

"Peeta? Anything to add?"

"No. I think that goes for both of us," I answer him.

Caesar finally signs off and the audience starts leaving. Katniss gets up without a word to me and approaches Haymitch.

I sit there, watching them and I get the unwanted feeling of suspicion creeping up on me.

_What's going on?_

Haymitch finally looks at me and nods, signaling it's time to go.

-x-

We board the train, everybody in silence. Well, mostly everybody. Effie keeps prattling about how she might finally get a promotion now that District Twelve finally has a winner again. But no, not only one winner but _two_ and how no doubt she'll be invited to every party to show off our success.

I stare at their faces, all somber as the high of interviews and winning slowly fades away. I watch Katniss, who not once makes eye contact with me. Not wanting to confront her here, I keep my growing ill feeling to myself as we speed away from the Capitol.

Thankfully we make a stop since the train needs fuel and so Katniss and I decide to go for a walk. We amble along the track, hand in hand, the silence stretching before us. I spot a patch of wildflowers and I bend down clumsily to gather a bunch for Katniss. I walk back to her and notice her absentminded expression. I hand them out to her silently and her face suddenly tightens as she takes them, a stiff smile appearing on her face.

"What's wrong?" I finally ask, the dread knotting in my stomach.

"Nothing," she tells me and we continue walking hand in hand past the end of the train, along the track.

"Good job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be okay," Haymitch tells us, coming out of nowhere and startling both Katniss and me.

My eyes fly to Katniss' face as she watches him walk away, carefully avoiding looking at me.

"What's he mean?"

"It's the Capital. They didn't like our stunt with the berries," she blurts.

I frown and shake my head at her, confused.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"It seemed too rebellious. So, Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn't make it worse."

"Coaching you? But not me," I tell her flatly.

"He knew you were smart enough to get it right," she tells me, her voice pleading.

"I didn't know there was anything to get right. So, what you're saying is, these last few days and then I guess… back in the arena… that was just some strategy you two worked out," I tell her, feeling my heart drop into my stomach.

"No. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him in the arena, could I?" she stammered.

"But you knew what he wanted you to do, didn't you?"

She bites her lip and once again avoids looking at me, guilt written all over her face.

"Katniss?"

_Silence._

I drop her hand, which has suddenly turned cold and she takes a step as if to balance herself.

"It was all for the Games. How you acted," I tell her, tightening my jaw to keep my chin from trembling.

"Not all of it," she whispers.

"Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what's going to be left when we get home?" I ask, feeling my own hands start to freeze.

"I don't know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get," she replies softly, shutting her eyes.

I watch her, waiting for further explanation but get none.

"Well, let me know when you work it out," I tell her, unable to hide the pain in my voice.

I watch her for another second before walking off as fast as I can, forcing myself not to sob, cry or stumble.

I finally reach the train and hobble aboard, turning to look out in the distance where I've left Katniss. But find that at this moment, I don't feel particularly worried about her.

I see Haymitch trying to catch my eye but I go out of my way not to talk to him, opting instead to go to my room. I lock the door for safe measure and turn away, staring at nothing as I begin to feel my world collapse.

I walk numbly to the dark bathroom and lock myself in there as well, tears finally escaping and rolling down my pallid cheeks. My face crumples with pain as I slide down the door stiffly, my new leg not quite cooperating with me.

_I should have seen this coming... I should have known. It was too good to be true. Why would she be in love with you, Mellark? When back home she has a perfectly good man waiting for her. First your mother, now the girl you've been stupid in love with for years… shouldn't you be used to being unwanted? This is nothing new, really…_

Not quite caring if I'm heard, I let out a painful cry as I clutch my head tightly with both hands, sobs wracking my body.

_Damn it, Mellark! Man up! This is precisely why nobody loves you… but I can't help it. I truly thought... no matter now. I don't know why I equated her saving my life with loving me… not like she said as much. Just the kisses and embraces we shared. She may not have said she loved me, but she did hint around that she cares me for. Or is that an act too? I shouldn't have held it against her, though… she was trying to keep both of us alive so we could go back home. Oh, no… what if she moves him in with her at Victor's Village? Could I really see them every day, live next to them? See him make her happy? Of course, what am I saying… I want her to be happy. No matter how miserable it makes me. No matter what, my wasted heart will always love Katniss Everdeen, the girl who set my heart on fire._

I continue sobbing and crying until it feels as if I can produce no more tears. Tiredness takes over me, my body aching and my soul crushed.

_I feel so pathetic… but how else am I supposed to react? I love her. She pretended to love me. There is no other way to grief. I'm certainly not going to explode at her… so it's best if I do it in the privacy of this room._

I stand up shakily, turning on the faucet to splash some cold water on my face. I can barely make my face out in the dark mirror but even so I notice how my eyes are puffy and red.

_Great. As if I wasn't good-looking enough…_

I turn away disgustedly from myself and walk slowly to the bed. I climb under the covers, curling into a ball as much as I can with my new leg and shut my eyes tightly. Before long, I'm fast asleep… and thankfully, I dream of nothing.

The next morning, I don't bother getting up for breakfast. Shame and confusion course through me and I'm not in the mood to spar with Haymitch… so instead I order some food. I eat it silently, leaving the dishes in a neat pile outside my door once I'm finished with them.

_Soon we'll be home again. I'm going to have to get out of this bedroom and face her. I might as well start gathering my wits. I need to be the very picture of nonchalance when I'm with her. I don't want her to suspect just how much she has shaken me… despite what my absences during the meals meant._

I finally hear Effie knocking on my door, telling me we're almost home. I give myself a final inspection in the mirror and decide it must do. My hair was parted on the side, freshly washed. I'd dressed in some simple navy pants and white button-down shirt, giving the appeal of being the boy next door. My skin was still pale and had dark circles under my eyes.

_Good as it's going to get._

I sigh, dreading leaving the bedroom… but it's something I must do. I find myself being ushered to the exit and I spot a fidgety Katniss with Haymitch by her side. My stomach cartwheels and so I take a deep breath as I go and stand next to her. Her eyes travel up my shirt buttons and finally meet mine; we stare at each other in grim silence. I extend my hand silently out to her and she stares at it dubiously.

_Ouch… that stings so much more than it should._

"One more time? For the audience?" I ask, my voice strangely hollow.

Katniss swallows hard and presses her strangely warm hand into mine.

_Feels like the beginning of the end._


End file.
